In Mommy! Let Down My Hair!, we touched on the fact that there can be some pain associated with caring for fragile, delicate, often weak African American locs. Those of us with relaxers have surely experienced getting a bad chemical treatment once or twice that required us to have to take drastic measures (like a hair cut) to get back on the right track. The fore mentioned experience has forced many sisters to go “natural” from hence and forever more. Unfortunately, the quest for beauty and health don’t always intersect where they should, leaving us with some hard choices to make about how to manage our hair.
I have experienced over processing and bad chemical treatments personally, but the pain has been marginal as I really am not attached to my own hair. “Cut it off and start over" is my motto. But for my girls it is a whole different story. The safety and health of their hair is of utmost importance for me and I am vigilant with their hair care (hence the reason for this blog). Unfortunately, my trial and error has not always ended with the best results, although every intention has been good (again, the blog). Thankfully, I have learned from those experience and have decided to share them in hopes of helping some one else.
As previously stated my two girls have different hair textures and while the little one has manageable tresses the older one requires a little more TLC. This story is about a mistake that I made with her hair care that I do not want you to duplicate.
Her hair was about 3 inches long when she was born, so she had a good jump on the hair growth thing as many babies are born bald or with “peach fuzz”. Her hair grew and grew and it was so lovely, I was so proud. Once the “baby hair” faded away, remaining in its stead was strong, thick coarse curls. I was in love. I enjoyed styling it and showing it off. However, I was somewhat disillusioned with the amount of time being put into maintenance of her hair. She fretted horribly when it was time to wash it and she dreaded getting it combed out. I figured a “professional” may be able to do a better job than me so I decided to take her to this so called “professional” for a wash and press assuming surely she knew how to adjust her technique based on each head of hair that came into her salon…after all she was a “professional”.
By and by, we learned (the hard way) that she was no such, “professional”. And unfortunately it was my child who had to suffer. I am not sure exactly what she did to cause such brutal damage, (my guess is she used a flat iron or blow dryer that was way too hot for her hair and it was singed), but whatever she did caused severe shedding and breakage of my daughter’s hair. I trusted her expertise and (erroneously) assumed that she realized virgin baby hair could not withstand such harsh temperatures, therefore I did not find it necessary to ask her what temperature she had her dryer set on.
The damage has been ongoing, with breakage continually taking place and trimming to try to rid her hair of the "dead" hair and return it back to its original healthy state. The singed hair is so lifeless that it does not respond to any treatment. It does not even "curl up" when wet (like the rest of the healthy hair). It just sits there, limp and straw like.
Though the damage was pretty much all encompassing, the worst of it was in the front. I have had to trim away at least four inches of her precious mane. Saying that I am heartbroken is an understatement.
I am able to camouflage the disaster with hairstyles that do not accent the breakage and her hair is clearly still beautiful, but it is not what it once was or at all what it should be. With time, hopefully healing will take place and its former glory will return. Every day I strive for that end.
The message to take away from this blog entry is multi-faceted. First, be confident in your ability to care for your own child’s hair. God would not have entrusted you with the gift if he did not give you the tools to succeed. Next, don’t be afraid to ask questions. If you find yourself in a scenario where you have allowed someone else to care for your child’s hair, ASK QUESTIONS! Even ask the obvious ones, like how hot is the blow dryer? Next, accept the reality that is your own. Love the hair she has! It may be long and kinky or short and curly, it maybe medium length and coarse or baby fine and straight. Whatever it is, treat it accordingly and care for it based on its specific needs. Finally, less is more. I have learned the hard way to give my daughter’s hair “rest days”, time off from styling. I don’t wash it so often. Every product I use must contain moisturizing properties. I limit the amount of heat (ie.,pressing combs or flat irons). I don’t blow dry her hair AT ALL! I let it air dry. Her fro is awesome, so sometimes we just rock it like that.
I feel sad just thinking about it. How many beautiful black girls have you seen start out with gorgeous hair when they were small (many faces pop into my mind), only to see them when they are 6 or 7 years old and you have to wonder to yourself “what happened?” WHAT HAPPENED? Laziness and Impatience happened, pre-mature relaxing happened, over treating and over styling happened, heat damage happened! And no one suffers except our beautiful little princesses. Don't let this happen to your baby girl! I won't let it happen to mine!
My first little princess,18 months old (before damage)
Styling products, Pink Oil Moisturizer and Kimi Oil
Check out the awesome fro
19 months, her first "faux hawk"
Two years old (before damage) no pressing, no blow drying
Styling products, Ultra Sheen Hair grease and water
Three years old, after the second visit to the "professional", before the breakage began
Four years old, (after damage and significant trimming) no pressing or blow drying
Styling products Pink Oil Moisturizer and Organic Root Stimulator Olive Oil Cream Moisturizer
Four years old (after damage) hair has been trimmed about three inches in this photo
She can still rock a hot faux hawk, we just have to do it with care
One of my favorite looks on her!
Styling Products Pink Oil Moisturizer and Organics, Texture My Way (which is an awesome moisturizer and detangler; review forth coming)
Now that I have descended my soap box…try these anti-breakage products to help maintain your daughter’s healthy kinks and curls.
Organic Root Stimulator has a site, but it is currently under construction. Purchase @ Target.com or friendly neighborhood beauty supply.
Organics, Texture My Way can be purchased @ Amazon.com or Ebay.com or @ your local beauty supply store.
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