Mommy! Let my hair down!

I have two little girls with two totally awesome heads of hair! They also have two totally different textures of hair. I started this blog because I figured that there was some other mother out there plagued by the same dilemmas I am facing like how often to wash their hair, how to style it and what products to use. Well, I have become an expert at trying anything at least once. AND those trials have lead me to some pretty profound answers. I am going to share them here in Two Heads. Whether her hair is kinky or curly, soft or coarse you can probably benefit from my trial and error.

First, what are the dilemmas? (solving takes time and effort, but it’s worth it)

Dilemma number one, is how to care for ethnic, natural, chemical free hair (I have had a relaxer for so many years I have forgotten what natural hair looks and feels like)?

Dilemma number two, how to retain moisture?

Dilemma number three, how to stave off breakage?

Dilemma number four, is heat styling “ok” and if so what are the proper techniques to keep from damaging virgin hair?

Dilemma number five (this one’s the biggie), how to equally maintain, manage, style, etc. the two beautiful (yet different) heads of hair God has entrusted me to care for?

More questions, quandaries and queries emerged once I began to tackle the initial dilemmas.  I became overwhelmed and confused. Then I began to listen to the conversations going on around me. Mothers of all backgrounds with little girls of all ages with all different hair types had the same questions I had. While some had discovered the answers to some of their questions, many others were still searching to find that “magic fix”.

Unfortunately, all those mothers including me have spent literally hundreds of dollars on products that do not deliver on any of the promises they advertise. There were even occasions when the product worsened the situation severely. Through the process of experiencing so many failures with product after product, I inadvertently stumbled upon some that did do what they promised and you might be surprised that the product that performs best may not be the most expensive. It also may NOT be the product that markets itself as an “ethinic” product that may work super well on dry, coarse ethnic hair.

BUT…THERE IS NO MAGIC FIX.

At any rate, this is just one more blog dedicated to keeping our little girls of color confident, healthy and happy…and here’s to keeping their crowning glory as beautiful and healthy as it can possibly be too. I hope I can make at least one mother’s hair battle a little less tedious.

(Did I mention… there is no “magic fix”)

We will tackle some TOUGH issues about hair from time to time, some even heart wrenching for the moms and little girls that deal with them every day…the subject today, however, is not one of them. I decided to start out on a lighter note. Things can get heavy later.

 I know for a fact that just about every mother of color who has a daughter has heard some iteration of this statement, “I want my hair down today” or what about “I want my hair long today”. Sounds like it’s time to break out the blow dryer, flat iron, that real thick pressing grease and get to moving, huh? Well, maybe not.  There are some super cute alternatives to “loose” untamed hair.

First, here is why I would rather not have my oldest daughter’s hair all a loose very often:

1.       It dries out quickly

2.       It gets tangled (making it hard to comb out later)

3.       She loves to play in it, twirling her fingers in it all day long (making it hard to comb out later)

4.       The hairstyle doesn’t last long (at least not for her) so in the end it requires a lot more work to maintain loose hair.

So what do I do when little miss princess wants to feel her hair sweeping her back? What alternative do I employ when she wants to toss her head and feel her hair move? I do twists…twist with knockers to be exact.

My preference is a medium twist, not the big fat ones. They are typically too puffy to be bouncy. I also don’t like them too small, because it takes a long time to complete. However, I have found that the smaller they are the longer they last. Play around with a few to see what fits best for your situation.

Typically, I do this style once my daughter’s hair has been washed and styled already for about a week or so. The hair is usually more “relaxed” and not super wavy from her wash and braid job. Usually, it is still quite moisturized, but I still add a little Pink Oil Moisturizer to each part for good measure. We start from the nape of the neck and do box parts, four across on each row. I do use the plastic “ouchless” elastics, not rubber bands to keep from breaking the hair.  I’m old school sometimes, so to keep down “fly aways” I take a little dab of that blue grease (don’t act like y’all don’t know the blue grease) and run down each section before I twist it. Once I do, I finish the twist with some Pink Oil at the end. The slight moisture makes the ends curl up and keeps them from coming loose. Work your way from back to front. Rather than a plain center part, do a diagonal one instead to give the style a little extra “umph”.

my sweet four year old, with her twists

Ribbons are off of a $1.39 spool from Hobby Lobby (lime green, hot pink)

Denim Jacket, Baby Gap

Adorable dress Target

(No knockers in the pictures above, this was the second iteration of the hairstyle, but you still get the idea)

Now that you have a head full of shiny twists add your knockers.  Some call them “balls” or “bobbles”. Whatever you call them, they are the little hair ornaments that give the hair a little weight and stretch the twist out. Little girls love knockers almost as much as they love beads. She will shake her head until she’s dizzy. And you can leave her hair this way for up to a week if you choose. Touch them up intermittently if needed.

There you have it, a stress free, long lasting, and very pretty hair style. I am aware that twists are not the same as “Shirley Temple” curls but they save you a lot of work in the end. And your little princess gets to break out of the bondage of the usual ponytail,  plait or cornrow and let her hair down…sort of.

HOW TO MAINTAIN THIS STYLE:

My little one refuses to sleep with anything on her head. Bonnets don’t work and scarves…forget about it. The only alternative I have to try to keep her hair half way descent is a satin pillow case. Hey, it’s better than nothing. At least she does not pull it off half way through the night.

Have an alternative to loose "untamed hair", leave a comment on what works for you!